Attitude Adjustment

“Watch that attitude!”

Those words were said to me countless times as an adolescent, and I vividly remember despising the word attitude. Apparently I always had one, according to my mother. I couldn’t always understand what she meant. (Not never… sometimes I did realize I was being a brat.) But other times, I thought I was just being normal.

Now that I’m on the other side of the parent/child relationship, I’m beginning to think this is the default setting for this age. Those exact words that were thrown in my direction are coming out of my mouth to our oldest child on a regular basis. I’ve turned into my mother!

Pretty much anything we say to our son can elicit a subtle eye roll, or the barely noticeable mumbling, or some other way of showing his displeasure at our message. Other times, it just seems that he gets into a general funk of unknown origin, and nothing we say or do can change anything. The thing is, I remember getting upset easily as a preteen and teenager, and even if I knew there was no reason to be mad/sad/frustrated/whatever, it still didn’t change the fact that I felt moody.

So if I remember experiencing this myself, why isn’t it easier to stay patient and understanding with my own moody boy? I find myself getting so frustrated with the irrationality of his disposition, but isn’t that a hallmark of adolescence? Though I remember that my mom’s words often only made me feel even cruddier, now that I’m in this position, I can definitely understand what she meant when she told me I needed an attitude adjustment!

I’m going to try to picture twelve year old me the next time my son gets all funky with us, and maybe that will help me be more empathetic. I hope I can refrain from complaining to him about his attitude at least a little bit over the coming years.

Have you survived parenting an attitude-challenged tween? What tips can you offer?