I interviewed Mary Steenburgen last week. I adore her. She’s so classy, smart and funny. I love funny – we are big on humor in our family. Shortly after my husband met my family, he said, “Well, it’s a good thing I have a sense of humor. It’s apparent nobody would survive in your family without one.” This is very true.
Mary Steenburgen has this amazing sense of humor that comes across as completely hilarious but still classy. Two of my favorite movies are Elf and Step Brothers (and no, my sense of humor isn’t always appropriate), so when I had the chance to interview about her homes and sense of decorating style, I took it. Of course she’s been in so many more movies and TV shows, and she also has lots of other talents, including writing music.
So what does this all have to do with making time for yourself and your relationships? I asked Mary (we’re on a first name basis, of course) about her daughter, who is close to my age. She and her daughter Lilly own a company together called Nell’s Compass. They manufacture and sell beautiful candles, modeled after expensive European candles, but sold for a fraction of the cost. I’d honestly never heard of the company, so I spent a lot of time on the website because I’m a huge candle fan. (Ask my husband – sometimes I drive him crazy with my candles.)
Lilly just became a mom in January — making Mary a grandma! — and so I asked Mary (again, first name basis) what advice she’d give Lilly about not losing herself in motherhood.
“She and I have talked about that — we talked about it this weekend, actually. She’s already really aware of that and not only for herself, but for her marriage and finding time for the two of them. Of course, it’s challenging when you have a little baby, but she has a real strong sense of that,” Steenburgen told me.
“Lilly’s still there. She’s not solely focused on the baby… Lilly is still very much Lilly and present and joins in the conversation and finds little moments for herself. There’s just a very sweet confidence about how she is approaching all of this that has made me very proud.”
“Rather than losing herself, she is blooming more than ever and I think some of it is just being aware of that,” Steenburgen said.
Isn’t that the key? To make time for yourself and your relationships — marriage, friendships, family? Health includes our mental health and our happiness. I stayed up until 1:30 in the morning the other day, talking on the phone to my mom. We used to talk all the time before I had my kids keeping me busy, often a few times a day, but any more, we’re lucky to talk twice a week.
The fact is that life is busy and becoming a mom does change priorities and time commitments, but we do have to remember not to lose ourselves completely.