For everyone who has a Maclaren stroller, here is the latest press release from the Consumer Product Safety Commission:

NEWS from CPSC

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission Office of Information and Public Affairs Washington, DC 20207

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

November 9, 2009

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well.

"technically" (i am using my air quotes here) we have had two cars before. 3 times in our marriage actually. but to say that we are finally a two car family and live up to the name would take a little story telling.

as i started writing this i realized that the story of the gremlin deserved a posting all its own.

so indulge me if you will.






ugh. just that picture gives me PTSD. and whole lot of it!

here is my lovely pile of metal, only think older, with more rust stains and an imaginary sign above it everywhere it goes that reads "THORN IN LYNSEY'S SIDE."

why? well, funny you asked........



except about 10 years older than this model, a black top and a little more orange-red than fire hydrant red. but still. sigh.

picture my hair blowing in the wind, blasting music as i breeze by you. the song of choice for this moment in the story will be air supply's "making love out of nothing at all" (outtanothingatalllll).

i drove my lovely cabriolet convertible in high school and while living for a summer in jackson hole. as that summer neared its end my dad took it for a weekend, admitting to me he was going to have to sell it and get more of a "snow-friendly car" to survive the frigid wyoming winters.

i watched with a tear in my eye (the left one, if you were wondering) as my little red, roofless wonder drove away. there was a small shred of hope that held a possibility of what might return in its place. i'm really not that car savvy or particular. i just wanted something that was reliable in the snow, ice, sleet, hail and moose poop. and kind of cute. was that asking too much?

i guess it was.

the "little hatchback that could" is what returned.

a slight gasp escaped my lips as my dad putted up through the parking lot driving the gremlin, but i set my shoulders square and decided to give it the ol' college try.

cut to, like 3 weeks later. for the first of 4 times, the gremlin broke down. and when i say "broke down," i'm not talking a lame refusing-to-start-on-a-bitterly-cold-day-i-have-to-call-a-friend-to-drive-me-to-work broke down.

i'm talking, i'm-in-the-middle-of-nowhereland-on-my-way-to-logan-from-jackson-driving-by-myself-up-a-canyon-on-a-hot-summer-day-with-no-A/C-when-the-gremlin-decided- to-growl-its-last-growl (or so i had hoped) broke down. with a trail of cars behind me, i crawled at a snail's pace with my white knuckles clutching the steering wheel. at the time i was heading uphill. the car repeatedly lurched, making some noises that i know the good people over at subaru did not build this car to make.

if you have known me long enough, you have heard my impression of this noise. though there were no witnesses besides myself, i can assure you that it is a dead on impression.

i did reach the top of the canyon's hill...i credit all of my prayers--said loudly to overshadow the crazy lurching noises--being answered to get to that spot. not only was i praying, but singing intermittently "CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN," pulling my best mother abbess impersonation in hopes of sending the gremlin some positive energy.

did i mention that this was pre-everyone owns a cell phone years? no, that isn't the same year that grandma beula was crowned prom queen. it was just a mere decade ago, folks. unbelievable, but true.

my thinking was that once it was fixed, the gremlin and i could discuss where this relationship was taking us and whether or not we were compatible as vehicle cohabitants. you think i am joking? i have had to have many heart-to-hearts with my automobiles. some airing in my favor, most of them not. (like 70/40.)

unfortunately i never had the opportunity to have that conversation with the ol' gal. because after leaving the auto shop with a new and improved gremlin (after the mechanic said to me "wow, subarus never break down!" i wanted to punch him.) , i settled into a false sense of security. i thought i had all the time in the world for my mano-y-mano chat.

a couple of weeks later i was again driving solo on my way to a wedding in utah when the gremlin gave me some more trouble. this time there was smoke coming from the hood and it was overheating. luckily i was in the heart of idaho falls and close to a wendy's parking lot. so i turned off the nasty beast and sailed in neutral right into a space where i sat for a good 2 hours waiting for it to cool down.

luckily this time i had learned my lesson and had borrowed my dad's cell phone. it was one of the newer models and looked a little somethin' somethin' like this:



"DAD! THE LAME CAR BROKE DOWN ON ME AGAIN!" i sobbed into the boxy receiver as my dad picked up the call.

"what's wrong this time sweetie? subarus just don't break down, you know." i sensed the exasperation in his voice. like it was my fault or something! i explained the symptoms. then he uttered the question that i still harbor resentment in my heart for:


my reply came out fast and furious.

"DAD ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO TAUGHT ME TO DRIVE A CLUTCH! I'VE BEEN DRIVING ONE SINCE I WAS 16. THIS IS A PIECE OF POOP CAR AND YOU DON'T WANT TO ADMIT THAT SINCE YOU BOUGHT IT AND WERE TAKEN FOR A RIIIIIIDE IN THIS LEMON!"

silence on the other end. i contemplated whether or not i had gone too far. but as i felt my sweaty back from the hot summer air and looked at the steam rising from the hood to the clouds i did not regret my decision to take a stand. this. must. stop.

"well, sit there for a little longer and then give it another try." words of wisdom i tell you.

and so i did. like i said, after 2 hours, i started the gremlin up and made it to utah without a problem.

the third time it broke down is short and sweet. one winter morning in below zero temps, it just wouldn't start. got it fixed, endured another lecture of how subarus never break down. end of that one.

but the fourth time? a doozy.

i had moved back home from jackson and was living with my parents. driving into salt lake every day was always a gamble in the gremlin. it would shudder to life every morning until i gave it a pep talk to get a move on. that we could survive together one more day.

but one morning, there was a horrible snow storm. i had just entered the freeway, and was about 15 miles from my house when the car put-put-putted and du-du-died. no cell phone with me, and with some crazy traffic going on, i put on my coat and snuggled into my seat. flashes of my frozen, lifeless body came into my mind. this was the end of me.



yeah, that's a gross picture. sorry.

about 20 minutes later, a car pulled to the side. a sweet middle-aged couple had come to my rescue!

"did you run out of gas?" the husband asked me gently. i took his tone as him assuming that i was an idiot young girl. you know the kind, who think that the E on their gas gauge stands for Effort or are too flighty to notice the word "diesel" as they are absentmindedly putting gas in their car. of course popping gum as they pump. because we gals can't do two things at once, you know.

"no, it just died on me. and it's not the first time!" i replied, trying to mask the shrillness of my tone.

"oh i was just wondering because i was just telling my wife that subarus never break down," he said in a surprised yet cheery tone.

i inwardly rolled my eyes, muttered the gremlin's name in vain under my breath, and hopped into their warm car. they were so kind to drive me all the way down to my work in salt lake. and that wretched little car sat under 2 feet of snow.

that was IT for me. i refused to drive it anymore, and endured the other "gems" my dad found "fabulous deals" on from the side of the road. i didn't care, i had signed the papers and the gremlin and i were officially divorced.

so how does this apply?

well.

once i dusted off my feet on the mats of that coche, it was passed down to my more than willing little brother, tyler. he couldn't wait to get his hands on it.

however.

about a year into ben and i being married, tyler also wanted a divorce from the gremlin. and saw my husband as just the sucker to take the fall.

i clearly remember sitting in my parents' kitchen one weekend, while tyler pitched his sale to ben.

"i'll give it to you for five hundred bucks," tyler said.

"NONONONONO!" i protested. "that car will NOT come back to me! NO! i am putting my foot DOWN!" and probably stomped at that moment, to emphasize my passion on the subject.

10 minutes later, we were five hundred dollars poorer, and with continual promises from ben that i would never have to drive the gremlin, the title was passed over to us. truth? the thought to burn it crossed my mind.

he drove it back to rexburg and i followed behind him in our other car with a pit in my stomach.

but ben was in love. i don't know what it was about that dang car, but the fellas couldn't get enough of it. i actually had one friend tell me that if i ever wanted to sell it, to let him know. my response? "if it were my car, i would give you money to take if off my hands!"

anyway. ben happily drove it for, oh......

3 1/2 weeks? maybe 4? until it just stopped. would not go one. inch. further. so a good friend towed it to our driveway and there it sat for 2 months. until who decided to buy it off our hands????

my brother tyler.

for how much?

three hundred dollars.

i am not even kidding you. i really, really wish that i were.

he bought it back and sold it for parts. so within a month we not only lost $200, but ben pretty much lost his pride and core belief that he can make sound judgments when it comes to purchasing a car.

especially when there is a stomp from his wife involved.

however, i did my best not to gloat. i was just happy that the gremlin was now taken apart and shipped to new and separate homes and free from the bonds that had held me bound.

the gremlin. ugh. shiver.

coming up....

don't worry, that story will be much shorter than this one.

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this morning i woke up to the smell of the lovely scent of "kitchen spice" wafting through the air. bath and body works knows how to do fall scents, don't they? have you tried "leaves?" yumalicious.

this morning i overheard caleb singing, "if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it! woah a oh, oh a oh oh oh!" in his defense (and mine) this is a song i solely sing to leah when i'm feeding her peas and she's refusing to open her mouth. it makes her smile and plop! in go the peas.

this morning ben came in to the room with a confused look on his face. walking kind of funny. turns out he'd put on a pair of my jeans by mistake. i was grateful that not only were they my "too big" pair, but they were snug on him.

this morning i insulted ben by saying i was grateful they were snug on him, because we were "quite a few pounds different." (i know that saying isn't really worded correctly but you get the idea.) so then he thought i was calling him fat. which is not at all true, i was trying to not call myself fat. and defended my grammatically un-correct statement by reminding him that i am about a foot shorter than him, and therefore should weigh "quite a few pounds different" from him.

this morning i insulted ben again because i also informed him that those jeans of mine were petite in length and that they didn't necessarily look like capris on him. that the length was quite fitting.

this morning i attempted to make up for my slew of insults by letting him know that the gap lived up to their claim. that those jeans of mine did, in fact, make him look longer and leaner. "oh wow, thanks." was his sarcastic reply. hey, i tried didn't i?

this morning leah didn't yet fit into the pants i had bought for her, so instead she crawled around in her baby thigh-high leg warmers. there's something unsettling about the word thigh-highs when discussing my now 8 month old lassie, but she sure looks cute in them. they squeeze the chunk of her legs so that when when you get to her diaper there's about an inch of muffin top chub spilling out over the sides. plus we like to make her dance to "she's a maniac" when she wears them and put it on the video camera. so funny.

and as for me?

this morning i am enduring a hangover from fair food. to specify, that is food from the fair, which we went to yesterday. check out these fries! and it was my first real attempt at eating fried treats. i wasn't sure how the deep fried twinkies would be but to my amazement they were absolutely spectacular. but due to the calorie overload yesterday i will be re-thinking my malibu barbie halloween costume. i think i'll go as her frumpy mother instead.




this morning i am loving the fact that the high is only 70 degrees today and that we're busting out the long sleeved shirts and pants. blessed be cooler weather!

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Check out these hilarious pet costume ideas for Halloween.  We had so much fun putting these together!

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Creamy Pumpkin Soup

This recipe is perfect whether your curled up with your favorite book this autumn or entertaining guests for the holidays!

Ingredients:
1 small to medium pumpkin
1 quart cream
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cloves
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
3 tablespoons sugar
1/4 teaspoon white pepper
1 15-ounce can pumpkin

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Here's another fun Halloween craft to try with your kids.  We're making this in our class next week with the kiddos.  (And sorry, I don't have a picture for this one, but try to picture the whole oatmeal container as the witch's head and body, topped off with a hat that you'll add up top!

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now that the show has wrapped up the final episode, i thought i'd share my thoughts on the past 8 months or so. in case you don't remember, this is how i looked when the show first started:



i remember sitting at the casting call, that my husband and sister had urged me to go to, feeling frumpy in my maternity sweater. it no doubt carried a stain on it, as did all of my maternity clothes by that time. i sat down next to a lovely lady wearing heels and gucci glasses carrying her portfolio (yes! i said portfolio!) with her. i felt

so. out. of. my. comfort zone.

as i drove home, i was proud of myself for giving it a go. this was not something i usually do, putting myself "out there" for pretty much anything. when i received an email to return for a 2nd interview, i was honestly shocked.

i sat around the table for the interview, surrounded by 8 beautiful and inspiring women. each had a story to tell. in the beginning they seemed so different from me, so hard to relate to. but as the hour went on we began to find common ground. not only that but i realized how much i genuinely liked each of them. i got so excited thinking about how much fun it was to meet them, and how it would be fun to watch any of them in the show.

i felt intimidated thinking about what in the world i could offer to them. the first 2 years of caleb's life were pretty much hell in motherhoodland. the seizures, the physical therapy, the specialists, the constant crying, the difficulty of it all. but since then i felt like we had worked ourselves into a pretty quiet routine. honestly? i felt like we were:

boring.

so when i received the phone call to participate in the show, i thought they had called the wrong pregnant girl. i felt nervous, intimidated, and completely insecure. but at the same time i felt extremely flattered and excited.

we started shooting about 5 weeks before i was due. i immediately felt comfortable with the group of people i met working on the show. they were so nice and patient with me. i have a tendency to ramble on when i'm nervous. and most of the time forgot the question i was asked. :)

5 days after the photo shoot for the show, this happened:



one of the 3 most important things in my life. leah was born, and my world was yet again changed. before the birth, i was extremely nervous to have anyone with cameras around me. but as i watched the birth episode i was so glad that i had agreed to it.

i also got the chance to vent about my colicky baby, hopefully helping other moms with hard newborns to not feel so alone. it was a difficult time, and again i was grateful to have been able to have the chance to be on the show to realize that i survived it.

now miss leah is 7 months old. not only is she crawling, but she is standing up and cruising along our furniture. it is such a complete opposite situation from caleb, who couldn't walk until the day after he turned 2. she is so happy and into everything!




ben is now in his second year of his doctoral program, working very hard and pulling out fantastic grades while keeping up a crazy schedule. i could not have done the show without his support and encouragement. caleb is a fun and healthy 4 year old who is a good big brother to leah and has an infectious love of life.



the Real Mom's Guide show has been such a fun experience and i have seen myself grow from it. i've learned to be less hard on myself, less critical of how i look, and more forgiving of my imperfections on the outside as well as on the inside.

i've loved getting to know dana, ida and vanessa. what amazing women they are! beautiful, fun, inspiring, funny, and REAL. it's been so much fun to get to know them and learn more about them. they have wonderful families and are amazing mothers.

a huge THANK YOU to Real Mom's Guide, to Mott's and to SheKnows & ChikiiTV!  to all of the wonderful people i have been able to meet along the way (a special thanks to shay, i love ya!)  it's been such a fantastic 8 months. and i can't wait to see season 2!

with love,
lynsey

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Lately I have been literally FREAKING MYSELF OUT. Like, just wigging out. ABout School!!! Today was not the breaking point-but it was the second leak on the way. The week before last was the first big bump.
Well, it's a lot more than school, but this is only going to address one particular class.
Comprehensive First Aid.
GRRRRR.
Who would have thought it would be so.........trying. I never NEVER expected it to be easy, but this is particularly hard. First, because the STUPID ARSE Joke of a BOOKSTORE still Does not have the dang book. Oh, they had the books, alright, but they didn't friggin order enough so by the time I got my student i.d. validated, guess what?!?!?,,,,,they didn't have anymore. Stupid hoes.
So, here I am, a Berea College student, completely broke, or I would buy my own off Shop Staywell. But as it is, I just cannot afford to pay all that up-front. With my student account, I can pay it off up until the next semester. Which Is What I Am Going To Do As SOon As THe Stupid Bookstore has it. Right now I am using Sandy's book. She is the athletic Trainer, and her book isn't the newest revision so I am second guessing EVERYTHING I read and am getting so confused in the process.
Here is my point:
First Aid/CPR/AED Certification isn't just something I want on my resume. I really really want to learn all this so I can be prepared to help someone if the time may come.
So, this I am so emotional anyway, this situation has had me in tears once or twice a week.
We had a Skills Check-Off today, and I was way too distraught. I went home to try to decipher this book and I literally felt nausous. Gross. I was determined to go and speak to Melody before the test to tell her exactly how I felt, but the whole way to campus I had to fight back tears. I mean, seriously? ALmost hyperventilating. I get the the PEHAD office suite and had to take 2 more minutes to calm down. Turned out she wasn't in her office, so blah. Waited a little while and went back.
Man, she must of thought I was a nut-case. I was just crying. She gave me very very useful advice(well, repeated because I have heard her say it in class before): The American Red Cross says over and over that you do one thing at a time, and just care for what you find. For instance, after you check for signs of life, give 2 rescue breaths, and they don't go in, try again, if they still don't go in.... ok. I can handle that. Obviously it's an obstructed airway. Or if the victim's breaths do go in... Alright. I am getting this now.
So I got all my skills checked off.
I am super excited too, becuase when we were practicing on the kid dummies, all my group starting checking for signs of life, except for me. I did 30 chest compressions. Which was right.  I mean, I really want my peers to succeed, but I can't help but to feel good about myself for thinking it through.  :)

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